What Are You Training Your Child In?

The Word or the World?

“Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.” Proverbs 22:6

This Scripture is at the heart of I Noah Mom and our mission to bring people closer to Jesus Christ and families closer together.

But lately, I have been thinking about one word in this verse:

Train.

Whether we realize it or not, every single one of us is training our children.

The question is:

What are we training them in?

Are we training them in His Word or allowing the world to do most of the training?

I'm not here to judge another parent's home. I'm a mom learning right alongside you. I've gotten this wrong plenty of times.

But I do believe we need to have this conversation.

Because our children are learning from us even when we don't realize we're teaching.

Ouch. She Learned It From Me.

When my daughter was in kindergarten, she kept saying, “What the hell?” at school.

I was so upset.

I remember talking to my husband about it, frustrated that she was saying this at school.

And he essentially said:

“Why are you upset? She learned it from you.”

Ouch.

He was right.

I didn't sit my daughter down and teach her to say it.

There wasn't a lesson called Things Mommy Wants You to Say at School.

She simply heard me.

She watched me.

And eventually, what she heard coming out of my mouth started coming out of hers.

That moment convicted me because it made me realize something:

Our children are learning from us when we think we're teaching and when we think we're not.

They Are Watching More Than We Realize

Our children are watching how we speak.

They're watching how we treat our spouse.

They're watching how we react when someone makes us angry.

They're watching what we do when we're stressed.

They're watching what we reach for when we've had a terrible day.

They're watching how we talk about other people.

They're watching whether we forgive.

They're watching whether we apologize.

And they're watching where we turn when life gets hard.

Do they see us immediately reach for a drink after a stressful day, or do they also see us reach for God?

Do they hear us complain constantly, or do they hear us pray?

Do they see us lose our temper and pretend nothing happened, or do they see us come back and say:

“I was wrong. I'm sorry. Will you forgive me?”

Our children don't need to see perfect Christian parents.

They need to see parents who genuinely need Jesus.

I Learned From What I Saw, Too

I know the power of example because I've lived it.

Growing up, I watched family gatherings where people would barbecue, drink, party, and have fun.

As a child, that looked exciting to me.

I remember thinking that when I grew up, I wanted to party, drink, and have fun just like them.

No one had to formally teach me that.

I was watching.

And those ideas eventually became part of the choices I made.

Later, drinking became heavy drinking, and drugs became part of my life.

I'm not sharing that to condemn my family or to say that every child who sees an adult drink will follow the same path. That's my story.

I'm sharing it because it taught me something I now take seriously as a mother:

What our children repeatedly see can shape what they begin to view as normal, desirable, and worth pursuing.

That makes me stop and ask:

What am I making look desirable to my children now?

I want them to look at my life and see that Jesus is worth pursuing.

Discipleship Starts at Home

Sometimes we unintentionally hand the responsibility for our children's spiritual development to the church.

We take them to children's church.

We send them to youth group.

We hope they have a great Sunday school teacher.

And those people can have an incredible impact.

But they aren't supposed to replace us.

Deuteronomy 6:6–7 says:

“These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.”

Look at where God describes these conversations happening.

At home.

Along the road.

At bedtime.

When they wake up.

That's everyday life.

God's Word wasn't meant to be something our children hear only for an hour on Sunday.

Faith belongs in the home.

Pastors can reinforce it.

Teachers can encourage it.

Church communities can help nurture it.

But as parents, we have an incredible opportunity and responsibility to intentionally disciple our children.

And you don't need a theology degree to begin.

Put God in the Middle of Ordinary Life

This doesn't have to look like making your five year old sit through a 45 minute Bible study.

Start small.

Read one Scripture together at breakfast.

Choose a memory verse for the week and practice it in the car.

Put Scripture somewhere your children will see it.

Pray before school.

Ask your child at bedtime:

“What do you need me to pray about tonight?”

Watch a faith based children's show or movie together and talk about it afterward.

Play worship music while you're making dinner.

When something wonderful happens, say:

“Let's thank God!”

When something difficult happens, say:

“Let's pray about this.”

When you make a mistake, let your children see you own it.

“Mommy shouldn't have responded that way. I was frustrated, but that doesn't make it okay. Will you forgive me?”

That's discipleship too.

You're teaching your child what repentance looks like.

You're showing them that following Jesus doesn't mean never failing.

It means knowing where to go when we do.

What Do They See You Run To?

This is a question I've had to ask myself.

When life hurts, where do my children see me run?

When I'm anxious, frustrated, exhausted, disappointed, or overwhelmed, what am I teaching them will rescue me?

Psalm 46:1 says:

“God is our refuge and strength, an ever present help in trouble.”

I want my children to know that because they've read it in Scripture.

But I also want them to know it because they've watched me live like I believe it.

I want them to see Mom pray when she doesn't know what to do.

I want them to hear me praise God when life is good.

I want them to see me trust Him when life isn't.

I want them to know our home isn't perfect, but Jesus is at the center of it.

The World Is Training Them Too

Our children are growing up surrounded by voices.

Friends.

Social media.

YouTube.

Music.

Television.

Advertisements.

Influencers.

Culture.

Eventually, people will tell our children things that contradict what God says.

And we cannot control every voice they will encounter.

But we can help build their foundation.

Jesus describes someone who hears His words and puts them into practice as a wise person who built a house on rock. When the storm came, the house stood because of its foundation. Matthew 7:24–25

That's what I want to build in my children.

A foundation.

I pray that when the world speaks loudly, we have trained our children so intentionally in God's Word that His truth speaks louder.

When the world tells them their worth comes from popularity, I want them to know they are wonderfully made by God.

When the world tells them to follow every feeling, I want them to know they can seek God's wisdom.

When the world tells them they aren't enough, I want them to know who they are in Christ.

When they're afraid, I want Scripture to come to mind.

When they fail, I want them to know they can run toward Jesus rather than away from Him.

When life breaks their hearts, I want them to know where their hope is found.

We Are Training Kingdom Warriors

Parents, we aren't simply raising children who behave well.

We're raising future adults.

Future husbands and wives.

Future mothers and fathers.

Future friends, leaders, teachers, coaches, and neighbors.

And most importantly, we're raising children who will one day have to decide for themselves whether they will follow Jesus.

We cannot make that decision for them.

But while God has entrusted them to us, we can faithfully plant seeds.

We can teach.

We can model.

We can pray.

We can talk about Jesus until His name is completely normal in our homes.

We can show them what forgiveness looks like.

We can show them what repentance looks like.

We can show them what trusting God looks like.

And when we mess up, and we will, we can show them what it looks like to come back to Jesus.

So, What Are You Training Your Child In?

Not just on Sunday.

Monday morning.

Tuesday in the car.

Wednesday when someone makes you angry.

Thursday when you're exhausted.

Friday when you're celebrating.

In the ordinary moments.

Because training doesn't happen in one big conversation.

It happens little by little, day after day.

That's why Proverbs 22:6 means so much to me:

“Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.”

So tonight, start somewhere.

Read one verse.

Ask one question.

Say one prayer.

Ask your child what they need prayer for.

Tell them something God has done in your life.

Turn on worship music.

Apologize if you need to.

Talk about Jesus.

Small conversations today can build big faith tomorrow.

My prayer is that we raise children so rooted in God's Word that when the world gets loud, they know the voice of Truth.

May we raise children who know where to run when life gets hard.

May we raise children who know they are loved by God.

May we raise children who aren't afraid to stand for truth while loving people well.

May we raise children who become warriors for the Kingdom of God.

And may it begin right where God placed us:

At home.